Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
