i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
