You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize