fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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