Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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