oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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