do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
