He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
