Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
