You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
