Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
