The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
