he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
