he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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