you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
