I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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