I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
two words: eviction party
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
