The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
