All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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