I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
