Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
