peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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