I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't put those talents on a resume
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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