You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
