After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
