I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
