Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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