life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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