You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
