So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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