i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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