You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hippo gnu deer
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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