i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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