Buhtt sex?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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