omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
