I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
