Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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