we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
No subtext here. People are naked.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
