ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
