one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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