i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
