Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
