I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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