One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
