Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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