How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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