well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
even my farts smell like vagina
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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