He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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