she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
