Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Holy shit dude........stairs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
