You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My pussy is not your playground.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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